A few weeks ago I had a meeting with a very important and well-known man in our brotherhood. I had only just met the man when he looked over at my bookshelf and said, "Your bookshelf sure is empty; looks like you aren't much of a reader." I wanted to say something smart like, "I don't want to be sized up by the books I read so I don't display mine," but I opted instead for something a little more gracious and humble. It shouldn't have bothered me, but it did, and now I find myself glancing at the bookshelf several times throughout the day wondering what my books say about me.
Those of you who know me well know that I am five months past a very difficult pregnancy that included 10 weeks of bedrest, an emergency c-section and a sweet little boy who was 7.5 weeks early. Aside from the obvious blessings that resulted from the ordeal, I found myself with an extra 65 lbs and a really ugly scar. Now 44 lbs lighter I have been continually discouraged by how few people have noticed the change. It shouldn't bother me, but it does, and I find myself putting more and more time in the gym and restricting my food even more to get back "down to size".
Suddenly, it hit me. Why do I care so much what all of these other people think? There is really only one audience member that matters: God. How different would my life be if I truly lived and breathed for an audience of one?
Romans 12:2
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