Nodding And Bobbing

Most people around me know that I don't get much sleep. It isn't that I don't require it, I do; it is just that when I am stressed or depressed, sleep is the first thing to go. For the past few weeks I've been running on about 3 - 4 hours of sleep a night, tops. The Saturday before last however I managed a full 9 hours of sleep in a row; not even the baby woke me from my sound sleep. The funny thing is that I got so much sleep that night that my body didn't want to stop sleeping when the alarm went off early Sunday morning. I was literally dragging myself around all morning and when I finally sat down for worship on the second row, it was all I could do to keep my eyes open. I am pretty sure my inability to stay awake had little to do with the worship service or the content of the sermon but I was fighting my eyelids the entire hour and a half and that was with a squirmy baby in my lap.

I am sure my nodding off looked comical (although I doubt our preacher thought so) but the really funny thing is that when you are nodding off like that, you don't realize how obvious it is. In many ways, nodding off feels like you are just groggy but still awake, when in actuality you are so groggy that you don't even notice your own nodding and bobbing because as your body is slowly falling asleep so are your sensors.

I've really felt like I've been holding things together for the past few weeks but just the other day, when my best friend was visiting, she sought out my antidepressants and begged me to start taking them again. In that moment I realized I didn't have things together like I thought and that I was nodding and bobbing but not noticing it because my sensors were dulled.

Our spiritual lives can be like that too sometimes, can't they? We can be so mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted that we don't even realize ourselves drifting away? How do you stay alert?

Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Simon," he said to Peter, "are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

Mark 14:36-38

Your thoughts?