The Cold

Texas is known for many, many things including unpredictable weather. It is November and yet the past week our highs have been in the upper 70’s low 80’s, definitely not characteristic of mid-November weather. This morning however I woke to the sound of hard, violent rain and gusting winds and when I checked my trusty thermostat I was surprised at how cold it was outside. It wasn’t until after dark that I ventured outside for the first time so that I could gas up my car and avoid the morning rush. As I stood at the pump, the first gust of wind began to blow and I shivered at the harshness of it but thought to myself that it was tolerable and hunkered down in my sweatshirt. As I stood there waiting I noticed that the wind was blowing harder and harder and as the chill searched for my bones I began to beg the pump to go faster. I topped off my tank, tore off my receipt, rushed back to the warmth of my car and slammed the door shut on the cold. It took about 5 seconds for the chill to wear off and then I began to notice that my entire body was bracing against the cold, even though the cold was no longer there. I took a deep breath as each muscle slowly relaxed and my posture began to straighten. It didn’t happen all at once, in fact, I was still very much hunched into the self-protecting ball my body had made as I drove away but even without the winds blowing my body was still wary of the pain.

Things have been pretty uncomfortable in my life for the past week and a half and as I approach day 8 of being a ‘single mom’, not being able to see my husband because of his treatment and week two of some pretty tough work stuff I am finding myself ‘bracing from the cold’. Today was a work from home day, something I typically really enjoy because my work is peppered with giggles, smiles and snuggles from my little boy but I have to confess that stress kept me from enjoying the day or my time with my son. As I reflect back on my day I am struck less by the stress that I felt and more by the fact that I allowed it to affect me the way that it did, that I allowed it to diminish the blessings of the day even after the work day was finished. I allowed my pain to become something else, something worse, something outside of me that affected someone else’s day…my son’s.

I think too often we allow our own circumstances to both dictate and excuse bad behavior. If I am really called to live a Christ-like life I have to live that life in whatever circumstances I am placed.

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:1-2

Your thoughts?